Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Semen is not good for contacts.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
