the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Acid is not a monday night drug
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
