just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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