I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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