she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
