Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
