Already got asked if we're dating
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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