So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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