am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
