I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
