Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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