Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
