that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize