Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
