I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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