Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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