So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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