Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
