we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
