I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
