Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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