You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
