let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
