he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
