what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
