Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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