What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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