I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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