come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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