so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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