There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
