I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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