i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
