At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
