I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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