In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
