Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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