please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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