oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Mom said you looked used
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
