she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
