she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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