when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
