planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize