very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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