please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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