the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
