Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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