i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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