I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
