still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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