His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
