she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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