Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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