Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
