So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
