where am i from again
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
