I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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