Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
