she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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