im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
smell my finger.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
