If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
