If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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