He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
