A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
