I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
