She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I love you. Go after that dick
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
