It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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